This Home is More a Place
by Shiny Red Cape
Summary: Outlaw Queen, post-finale. Just once I wanted an OQ fic that doesn't require Marian to die/be evil.


"I'm sorry"

The words took Marian out of her reverie, back to the bench where she was seated. She looked up and saw a small, fey like woman, blond hair gathered in a bun on her head.

"Sorry for what?" she asks. The days have been a blurring together recently, but she doesn't think she's met this woman before.

"You got a raw deal". The woman sits down next to her, "I'm Tinkerbell" she offers.

"I would introduce myself, but you already seem to know me". The incline of Tinkerbell's head agrees with her, and they sit in silence for a moment. Roland's shriek of happiness as he slides down the contraption he's playing on brings a small smile to her face. She'd been trying to find that connection with her son, but thus far it's been difficult. Those few days were years for him, and the past two months haven't been able to erase it. She looks back at the blond woman, who seems to be struggling to say something.

"I was a fairy, back in our land". Marian's eyes track instinctively to her back, as if wings might sprout at any moment to confirm the fact. She isn't finished. "We fairies, we're in the business of love, that's why we control the dust. We train for it". A small frown creases the skin between her eyes "I was never very good". That last bit is said more to herself then anyone else.

She seems at a loss to continue. Marian takes the moment to check on her son again, calling a warning when he seems too close to the edge. Roland's brilliant smile dims a little as he checks his footing and obediently grips the bar above him a little tighter. He acts like she's a distant aunt he's been told about, looking after him for the day. Respectful, aware, but ultimately unattached. It's a special kind of hurt this, it burrows deep.

Tinkerbell takes a deep breath, ready to begin again.

"A very long time ago, I met a queen. A queen who wasn't evil, not yet. A queen that still had choices to make. I looked at her and I still saw hope. I thought I could help her choose her path". A sigh for her past self. "I was young, and naive, and I thought I was ready. I thought I could prove myself"

She sees Marian frown, unsure how this relates to her, and plunges forward.

"It's easy to forget, living here, so close to all the great tales, the thousands of others that don't get told. We forget how rare True Love actually is. That it's not everybody's happy ending. That endings, even happy ones, go on without it. The lesson I hadn't learned yet, the lesson I learned the hard way, is that love denied has consequences. My training would have taught me that when I was ready. Once connected, True Loves will always find each other"

She looks at Marian and something in her eyes makes it impossible to turn away.

"Always".

It was a romantic notion, a beautiful one, much lauded in the Enchanted Forest, but coming from the fairy now it sounded... ominous. Like something to fear.

"I told this queen that she needed love. I stole some pixie dust to prove it. When we followed that trail we came to a tavern with her True Love inside" Tinkerbell's eyes slide away as she says the next words, "The man with the lion tattoo".

The memories of them curled together in their bed, his arm wrapped around her waist as she traces the line of his tattoo with her fingers, hits her like a small, hard blow to the stomach.

"What I couldn't see then, is that I met Regina too late. Though she hadn't realized it yet, her choices had already been made. Even if I had stayed, she wouldn't have gone inside. I was so angry at her, that anger stayed with me for years. I saw things so simply then. I didn't understand why Blue took my wings when I was so obviously trying to do the right thing, because I didn't understand how dangerous doing it wrong was. Trying to force love on people not ready for it".

A little gasp escapes her companion. A fairy losing their wings was a rare and shocking thing indeed.

"But Love always finds a way". She turns back; some things need to be faced. "I wronged you, Marian. The real tragedy here wasn't hers, or his, or even mine; it was yours". Now they get to the heart of it. "It made your story a chapter in his".

The words lodge deep into her chest. Pixie dust, it doesn't lie. Everyone knows this of course, how many stories had her parents spun for her as a child, of maids and men, their love anointed by the glowing green sparks, unbreakable. For a second she feels like she's drowning, and has to take a few deep breaths to convince her lungs she's not.

"It wasn't a coincidence they caught you, sheltering Snow White for a single night in the middle of nowhere. Dozens did it before and after and escaped punishment. But your love was an obstacle to theirs, though no one knew it. Love is the strongest form of magic, and it found a way to remove you so that, with time, it could write their story".

The buzzing in her ears clears and with it comes the anger.

"Who are you to tell me my love isn't real enough? That I should give up on my family so easily?"

Tinkerbell looks startled. She reaches over and grips her hands, as if the contact alone could will her to understand. "I'm not saying that at all. You need to understand this; your love was real. Is real. Your son is your son, even if it doesn't feel like it now. Children have an endless capacity to love. Just because its rocky now doesn't mean he won't feel it again. Love is strong, fated or not".

"And yet you would hand him to the queen! Both of them" the last is bitter. She hasn't been blind all her time here.

"No. You haven't been here long, so I know you only know bits and pieces, but if there is one thing Regina understands it's the bond between mother and son. A relationship with her won't take him away from you. Not ever".

Marian's eyes are filling and it's useless, useless. She pushes it back. "If Roland can learn to love me again, then he can too". It wasn't meant to be a question, but both of them can hear the uncertainty.

"You loved him, and he loved you. That's a gift. But can you honestly say that the man you love is the same man today? That Robin's the same here as he was there?"

She doesn't answer, which is an answer in itself.

"It doesn't feel like a gift anymore" , the admission is hard.

"It never does when you lose it". The words are gentle, as if speaking them softly can lessen the blow.

Damn the truth in her eyes.

Two weeks have passed since the conversation in the park, and it's left her restless, pacing up and down her room at the inn. Her room, not theirs. Better to integrate her back in stages, so not to confuse Roland. Everything feels so wrong here, in this new land. He visits her every day, but seeing him not longer brings her the joy it did. He tries so hard, so nobly, to make an effort, brushing a kiss to her cheek. Why does it take so much effort? These things that came as naturally as breathing before, when they wanted to be in each other's arms. He can sense her tension, Tinkerbell's words still running over her mind, and it sets both of them on edge. They would argue again tonight, she could see it coming as clearly as she could see him now, and yet was powerless to stop it. It wasn't fair, and really, that's what she was railing against. Knowing how little her anger can change, but feeling it anyway. What else can she do? So the argument starts, as she knew it would, and continues until they're both bruised and worn.

"Two months ago we were happy!" and those tears, those useless tears are escaping again. It's become old, even in the short time she's been here. He moves forward to embrace her and she waves him off, she can't face any more scraps from his table. He looks at her helplessly, and that's new too. "No we weren't". And there they stand, with two entirely irreconcilable answers, both of which are entirely true. The conversation stops there, as it always does. What else can they say?

She's so tired of this. The memory of them is water dripping through her fingers, and she doesn't want that. Doesn't want this, angry, hopeless, unyielding, to be all they have left. Let it end before everything is gone.

"Go then. Find her and let this be done."

Her voice is deep and rough, and it takes a moment to register what she's said. He's looking at her now, and the worst thing - the worst thing - is the hope he's trying to hide. The floor in here is crumbling, or maybe it's in her head. He opens his mouth to speak but she shouts "Go!" and it rings through the air as she points hard at the door. She can't listen to anymore of him, if it's over let it be over. Let it not taunt her anymore.

He leaves. She'll see him again, no matter what happens next it's not in his nature to abandon. She goes to lie in her bed, but can't. Even as she heads towards the door she calls herself a fool.

She follows him, though she knows it's only going to hurt more, she can't help it. Hides invisible in the trees, just like he taught her. He calls out the queen's name, "Regina!" as he runs towards her, and the sound slices down that final, small hope surviving deep inside. There's so much in it, that word. The Queen doesn't seem to want to talk, but her evasions are cut off as Robin picks her up and kisses her, holding her like she's the last steady thing in the world. _Gods it hurts_, but there he is, that man she used to know. The one she thought was lost but now it seems was only lost to her.

She turns away, enough now, and disappears soundlessly back into the forest. She shouldn't be surprised to see Tinkerbell appear in front of her, they can sense it, the fairies. True Love fulfilled. She should be angry, but everything seems to have drained away. The understanding in her eyes shouldn't give comfort, nor the hand leading her towards the town.

Granny takes one look at them as they step into the diner and gives them a table in the back, cut off from the rest of the room. When she brings their drinks she stops a moment, and lays a warm, firm hand on Marian's arm. When she speaks it's quiet and knowing. "Sometimes, you do everything right and still end up with your heart broken. Sometimes an end is also a beginning, and it's up to you to make it happy". Marian looks up into her eyes and wonders for a moment, if everyone has a story, then what was hers? She's seen no husband here, what happened before she was old that put that wisdom in her eyes? She watches her walk away; something to think of later.

She doesn't recognize the sound of her own voice when she opens her mouth. "Women here, they can live alone. They can work. They can support themselves".

Tinkerbell is watching her again. "Whatever you do next is your choice, but you won't do it alone. However much it hurts, you did the right thing today. We won't leave you friendless for it".

They sip their drinks. Neither speaks.


End file.
